It’s tough when you can’t put your finger
on what exactly is wrong.
Sometimes you just have those days where
everything is perfect; early start, productivity the entire day through, you
have managed to accomplish more in a day than you would in 2 weeks!
…other days are like this; something just
feels wrong; everything just feels wrong.
It is like that feeling when an activist
has invested immense chunks of their lives devoted to a particular cause, only
to come to the realization that all that spent time was fruitless – back to
square one.
DISCLAIMER:
Good blogs take one theme or main point, and flesh it out succinctly.
This is not a good blog.
People tell me I am talented. I know that
some people look up to me. I am infinitesimally grateful for the blessings that
have been bestowed upon me; but how much use is a jack of all traits, but
master of none?
I dabble my fingers in a lot of pies, and I
love it that way. Aside from a carb-loaded pot belly, it has led me to have
some very diverse experiences and meet some incredible people. Yet, I am not
exceptionally skilled at any one thing.
Lest it sound like I am being ungrateful, I do urge you to think
carefully about what it means to be ‘GREAT’ at something; and if you still
think I’m ungrateful, then shush! My opinions, MY OPINIONS, MY OPINIONS!!!!
I have been immensely lucky in life…immensely blessed.
People tell me I’m a social person. This
can range from compliments on my public speaking ability (or inability?), to
jokes-that-are-actually-serious-commentaries-on-my-life about how I just talk
way too much. It is incredible how one’s perception of you might be so
different to what you are on the inside. If one’s reflection revealed their
inner character, I would walk around with a mirror just to remind myself who
I’m truly not.
I can think of no better word to describe
myself than an ‘introvert’. I was laughed at when I last uttered that sentence,
but I know it to be true. It only became clearer when I took the Myers-Briggs
test, and realized how people’s preferences might be completely different to
what they externalize; because the system of work currently at play calls for a
certain type of approach, many of us might be forced to adopt and possibly
become good at a style/approach that we loathe.
I might elaborate on the above point in a
later blog, as it is something I have given much thought to. I would not want
to detract from the clear, take-home message that I am delivering to my ‘peeps
in da club’.
I will conclude by saying that, sometimes
certain experiences cause you to reflect upon yourself, and you might not like
what you see. You might be an extremist (only used that word to get more hits
on this post. Thanks for reading, CIA!) and hate yourself for not being
perfect; none of us is. I’m not perfect, and if people expect me to be, then I
should use that as fuel to egg me on towards my views of what perfection are
(and not theirs).
I don’t know why I started writing. I don’t
know if it made things clearer for me (like hell it made things clearer for any
of you), but I do know that everyone has a story. We may think we understand
someone’s psyche, yet we may land eons away from it and impose our paradigms on
others. Sometimes things feel right, sometimes things feel wrong; sometimes you
let things linger, sometimes things should remain what they are…JUST things.
One thing I can testify to, the feeling of
engaging in long prayer at midnight as the city lays in peaceful slumber, will never
cease to bring harmony to the most chaotic states of mind.
No comments:
Post a Comment