The Road to Success

I just saw an interesting video.

It spoke about how striving towards what our ideals in society have become, can have a rather isolating effect on people. In this modern age of connectedness via social media, we are under a constant illusion that we have tons of friends, that we are constantly connected with the world; rather, sometimes it catalyses the exact opposite effect, leaving one feeling completely alone.  It is almost as if you walk into a crowded masquerade ball, but quite soon the world around you starts dissolving away and the feeling of being in a completely separate dimension takes over.

Not that that has happened to me, of course; I don’t do balls!

I have thought about this point at great length. Namely, when one of my friends from abroad would be tagged in Facebook pictures, I would catch regular glimpses of what he was doing. In a non-stalking way, you probably get to see, in passing, status updates and pictures of people who you may almost never speak with. It is slightly creepy when you think about people who are actually actively ‘Facebook stalking’ you without your knowledge…(and the craziest thing is how completely normal people suddenly become crazy stalkers when it comes to Facebook). Anyway, this individual constantly appeared in pictures where he was partying, surrounded by attractive friends, attending great events, and seemed to be having the time of his life. I was completely shocked when I found out how miserable he really was.

This made me realize that what we have brought upon ourselves is the Celebrity culture. Where young girls (and guys) are still watching the brushed up actresses and super models, and getting completely unrealistic expectations of what a woman should look like; we have done the exact same thing through our virtual relationships. People may untag themselves in pictures where they don’t look flattering, they have the choice of deliberating their responses (and searching Google), editing/deleting before they reply to your chats or posts, and the glimpse into someone’s life that you get on a tool like Facebook is likely to be the equivalent of watching ‘Match of the Day’, or fast-forwarding through the highlights of a film.

I remember the three months after I graduated where I was unemployed, and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I was lucky enough to partake in a leadership program at Oxford University, and I then found work soon after. One profile-picture change, and one status update later, I found that I was getting messages like ‘smashing it as usual, bro!’ and ‘you’re killing it after uni!’. My countless hours of going through an emotional rollercoaster in front of a computer screen simply translated into ‘success, success, SUCCESS!’. But what is success? What is happiness?

When I decided to become more observant of my Islamic faith, I was told by hoards of people that I was restricting myself, and missing out on life. When I started working for an NGO, I was told that I was not earning 40-50k, and so this will not lead to a successful career. When I don’t show anger or frustration at having missed a train, or a flight, I am told that I am irresponsible and that I do not care. My only confusion with this is…all these things make me happy. My faith, my attitude, my work; these are all things that give me purpose in life, and make me feel like I am living to the fullest. Yes, NOT drinking alcohol makes me feel like I am living to the fullest. NOT clubbing or having pre-marital sex gives me a sense of joy, and instills a sacredness in the institution of marriage for me. Being able to pay for a roof over my head, food to eat, and social events is more than enough for me at this stage. I do not need to be able to afford a Ferrari. If I could, would that make me successful?

To me, happiness is success. Period. If you can find happiness in everything that you do, the best of times and the worst, then you have made it. You are the top dog, the G, the legend, the Frank Sinatra, the don. From there, you can start to define your own successes and failures, but regardless of the result, YOU will still be SUCCESSFUL, because you will still be happy.

Funny thing is, the people who tell me I am restricting my life start getting agitated unless they have smoked a joint, or intoxicated themselves beyond the point of memory. The same ‘successful’ individuals who are making tons of cash are constantly trying to reach higher targets, without being able to fully enjoy what they do have. The people who start wailing over spilt milk….just aren’t using logic. The milk is spilt already; duuh! Freaking out, raising your stress levels, cursing, punching a wall, will not cause time to rewind.

Sometimes circumstances dictate our decisions; but everyone has a different measure of happiness. Some people might actually enjoy being bankers. True, they might share more genetic material with Martians and Venusians than humans, but they do exist. As a society, maybe we should not impose our ideals of success on people, but rather, encourage people to pursue the true road to success; and what success can there be, without happiness.